My 4 stages of self-actualization. Read and avoid my mistakes!

Your brain is constantly evolving. Especially if you really pay attention to self-actualization.

For me, past 3 years were amazing. I do observe the great improvement in terms of overall personal development. New creative ideas, the better understanding of certain concepts and what is crucial, total self-awareness - that's a big deal. But as all the issues that are "evolving", you can extract certain stages, upsides, and downsides. The time when you were on the right track and time when you simply wasted your time, biased by the false concepts. Here, I want to describe my transformation, especially the initial stage of believing in Law of Attraction. But believing it in a total childish way. "It's good to learn from your mistakes. It's better to learn from other people's mistakes." as Warren Buffett said.

Stage 1: Ego and Law of Attraction

To be honest it started with the book called " The Secret". Kind of silly beginning I might say. However, it gave a little inspiration to dig into the non-material world of emotions and thoughts. But let's start from the beginning. Book and the movie called "The Secret", in my opinion, is just perfect in terms of persuasion and marketing. Why? Because its base on the very catchy concept: Law of Attraction. What it is basically saying is this: If your thoughts and emotions focus on the certain thing, no matter if it's good or bad, you will manifest it in your life. In other words: we attract what we think of.

Interesting and in the same time - dangerous concept. It's amazing because deep inside we all feel it's true. Think and act accordingly to the vision that you want to manifest in your life and it will become the reality - so true in my opinion! Although, it is extremely easy to get this all wrong. You see, humans are influenced by EGO, lazy and pessimistic creature inside of us that screw everything's up.

What EGO does with Law of Attraction? It interprets it all wrong. And this is what happened to me. For some time I neglected the word ACT and focus on the word THINK..... Ego's definition of described law is this: "Think accordingly to the vision of the future and it will happen.". The word ACT is missing.

Ego hates things like acting, doing, working, grind, effort etc. You see the pattern? The egoistic part of the mind wants you to stay perfectly safe, risk-free! Remember that growth and comfort never coexist. Thinking about million dollar company is easy, building million dollar company is hard. Deal with your ego or remain as a pure dreamer. That's the dark part of my transformation - for some time I avoided execution.

So how should I act back then and so should you now? Reinforce acting by thinking. Thinking process is important. It forms your desired future. If you take some time and visualize certain aspects of your future life and create a clear picture of it, then you can start the execution process. Acting without vision is the life of 90% of our population. Start with the question: "Whom I want to become?". Then act. Do You want to speed up results? Rehearse your perfect vision every morning by repetitively visualizing it! You will reinforce efforts and strengthen the picture of your life in the subconscious mind.

Stage 2: We are connected, everything is energy.

How to make Law of Attraction sounds more scientific? Involve Quantum Physis. Another great marketing move. From now on, every single one that was skeptical to Law of Attraction itself will become the most fanatic follower of this theory. Why? Because Quantum Physics is a BIG deal! Of course, I'm kidding a little bit. Like in the case of Law of Attraction, we cannot prove with confidence that Quantum Physics is the direct cause of attracting things into our lives by just simple thinking process.

But let's start from the beginning. LOA works perfectly with Quantum theories. First one is a general principle, the Law of Attraction is the law of nature that states: we can attract things by concentrating on them. The second which is the Quantum Physics is rather a way that this process actually works - on the primary level our physical world is made of energy. The energy "particles" that are connected one with another. Yes, we are made of energy, no doubt. But still, energy and connectivity do not mean that we attract things into our lives by thinking process. It cannot be proved, therefore I believe that.

What is the pitfall of this stage? I know many "spiritual" people that focus their attention on the energy and connectivity. That's a very deep understanding of reality. But is it actionable on the daily basis? Should You constantly focus on the Law of Attraction, energy flow, particles connectivity?

What meaning does it have to You? Probably none.

I don't argue all of this makes a great theory and I do believe that. Deep down in my mind, it's all true, but it doesn't mean that I should concentrate on it on the daily basis. It's just not practical!

Mind training is also about "thought priorities". During the day, try to concentrate on more actionable aspects of life. What do I mean by that? Empathy, social interactions, self-awareness, logical thinking, self-confidence, emotional intelligence. That's the way you grow. You develop these more practical aspects of life. Yes, I also pay attention to my spiritual growth, understanding of reality and meaning of life. But I take time for this. For example during mediation practice.

To sum up, be more practical. When it's time to act, focus on actionable concepts that will 10x Your growth. Also, pay attention to the spiritual growth and the nature of reality, but make the distinction.

Stage 3: Extreme pragmatism (aka "Do more, think none")

After pumping my ego with all the fancy theories and spiritual, uplifting slogans, I decided to take 180 degrees turn to the total pragmatism and practicality. That was the result of the egoistic approach to these more "spiritual" beliefs. I basically looked at my bank account and concentrated on wealth. Nothing happened so I abandoned it. This immature state of mind made to take this rapid and unfortunate turn.

At least I made a change, so my evolution did not stop at one point. Beware of staying in this fancy world of spiritual theories. If You are not a spiritual teacher or you won't devote your life to this area, please think once again. In my opinion, the true human growth in the realm of the reality that we experience is the mix of practicality and spiritual practice(my understanding of spiritual practice here, would be also fighting the EGO).

This stage was pretty boring for me. I gave up my beliefs a little bit and took a common advice from people that spend their lives doing things without any purpose. The advice is simple and stupid as it sounds: "Do more, think none". Probably many of You heard that.

That's my message to You, don't become a person described in these few sentences below:

I gave up my meditation practices and mind training. I replace them with the empty desire to just get rich, gather money without really realizing what money means to me. My mind was filled with pictures of luxury, pure materialism. JUST DO! Throw empathy away, and let Your EGO growS your greed and selfishness. That's the mindset of the poor man, where the only metric that is the measurement of success is money. To sum up, I become so engaged with the reality around me that I simply lost control over the life. In other words, from now on the reality dictated my life - I become reactive to the external factors and in the same time, forgot about the inner power of human potential, that really matters. At that stage, I neglected one of the most powerful words of wisdom:

"Man conquers the world by conquering himself" - Zeno of Citium.

Fortunately, I'm a smart dude and my true passion which is self-actualization and mind training won this battle of mindsets. So let me describe the final, the current stage, which so far is the best I have experienced. To be honest, I'm pretty fond of the fact that in my mid-20's, I have achieved such an interesting state of mind.....

Stage 4: Conscious reality creation.

I would like to describe this stage in a different manner. First, I describe what this "mindset" is really about, then proceed to the list of principles so You can get the most out of this stage and apply everything You want right NOW.

I would state that "conscious reality creation" as I creatively called it, is a perfect synchronicity between actions and thought. The place where self - awareness plays the biggest role. The place where you take responsibility and control over your thought and actions. Everything is conscious, you are no longer under such significant influence by subconscious habits that hold yourself in the past.

Many things gained new meaning for me, let's talk examples:

The meaning of money changed.... Now it's more like the growth stimuli, than the paper. The amount of wealth you gather is proportional to the value that you bring to the world.

What also changed significantly, was my understanding of life itself. What do I mean by that? The transition from GOAL oriented life to JOURNEY oriented life. That is a golden rule. If you fall in love with the process of growth, not future desires, you already won.

Here are few more rules that characterize such mindset:

  • You literally create the reality. Sounds pretty advanced, although You read correctly. All of us experience reality in our own unique, subjective way. The way how we react to the life around forms our reality. Having that in mind, the individual is able to choose the reaction to all external factors.

Let me quote Victor Frankl here: "Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way".

  • Catch yourself before going subconscious. Our life is 95% subconscious reactions and habits and 5% conscious actions. True, but only for untrained minds. If you want to evolve you need to loose old personality rooted in the subconscious mind and gain one. You are doing it by "catching" yourself just before the subconscious reaction or habit is coming and replacing it with the action which is in synchronicity with your new perfect self. Let's call it the self - discipline. Simple example: When you want to eat a donut for the breakfast - you replace it with a healthy meal. That is self-discipline. You cut the subconscious routine and act like a future self. In other, more scientific words: You break old and unwanted brain connections and build new, desired one. That's science guys.
  • The obstacle is the way. "Growth and comfort never coexist." This statement is heavy connected with the previous point - breaking the unwanted old habits it's the act of change which for the egoistic mind is extremely painful! Although it is the necessity and clear path to growth.
  • Self-awareness is the king. The skill of observing Your own thought and reaction is the great asset of an individual. With this particular skill, you are able to monitor your thought and behaviors and fixed the unnecessary ones. People, that are not self-aware are stopped in the growth process. Why? Simply because they have ZERO control over old habits that are conducting their lives. Simple rule: Recognize old behavior, break the habit, then train new self.

Observe Your thoughts and reactions. As previously mentioned, without self-awareness the growth process is slow. You are reactive to the external factors, letting the old patterns dictate your moves. Try to see own behaviors and thinking patterns like the conscious observer. The beauty of acquiring the skill of self-awareness is great because you can practice this skill anytime and anywhere. Being self-aware of yourself is like having a clear map to perfection.

To achieve it, you need the tremendous amount of self-discipline and will power. There are no shortcuts. I guess personal development is the hardest task ever. Although the fact that there is no simple formula for success is at the same time the most precious gift. Every single individual on this planet must take his own unique journey.

Fall in love with this process.

Stay Humble,


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